Progress

So I'm kind of excited that Jasmine is starting to put herself on a pretty decent sleep schedule. She is usually in bed before 9. I know that's late for a 10 month old but it's better than the 10:30-11 she was going to bed. So I'm thankful for this even if noone else benefits from it.

Now if I can get her to stop turning 90 degrees in her crib and bumping her head on the side rails. And to sleep past 7:30..... Mommy doesn't really do mornings. LOL. Motherhood is not always the most glamourous thing but it's woth it.

My mindset

So I have come to the conclusion that I am probably going to be single for a long time. I have had the worst luck with men. I'm sure it's because I date the wrong men though. Case in point, my daughters father. He's young and not ready to settle down with one person. He still has this young man mentality of dating as many as people as he possibly can, some at the same time. I kinda stupidly hoped that after our daughter was born that he and I would be together but it hasn't worked out that way so far. The last time we talked about "us" he told me that while he knows that I love him , that I'm not in love with him. I really don't know what to say to that. It's kinda true. I do love him and want this to work but I've been hurt so much in the past, even by him, that I'm afraid of being in love again. I don't know how to trust anymore. And that is sad. I'm 31, a single mom, with no prospects of anyone to date in my immediate future and I'm afraid to trust anyone else with my heart. Being a single mom is gonna make it that much harder to find anyone to date. I guess I didn't really think things all the way through last year. I kinda hate my life right now.

New to this....

So I am new to this whole blog spot thing. I guess I'm mainly looking for somewhere to vent and ramble without having to edit my thoughts. If anyone should happen to stumble upon this, I apologize in advance, and if I should happen to get a "following" then you're just as random as me and there may be no hope for either one of us. Anyway, hopefully I am able to update this fairly often but life is always busy with a teething, learning to walk 9 month old in the house. Have a good night all.